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"If you like daft stuff you'll love this new album by Brian Damage and Krysstal" TIME OUT (London) Shortly after meeting in 2000 at The Edinburgh Festival Brian Damage and Krysstal produced this orgasmic masterpiece of aural delight Maybe they should have waited a little longer After almost nine months of hard labour they have given birth to this wonderfully seedy CD showing a subtlety never before seen in Brian's act. Definitely a five star effort F*****ng great! A Scotsman Eleven Wicked Tracks 1. Pleasure 2. Hotel Torresmolinos 3. Buttplug 4. Half as Nice 5. Grey Haired Medley 6. Hannibal the Cannibal 7. Elephant Shite 8.The Penis Song 9. I'm F*cked 10. Bunch of C*nts 11. Knock Knock Silly Songs by Brian Damage & Krysstal An album of semi musical ditties written and deformed to the least of their debilities by Brian Damage and Krysstal for no reason other than to satisfy their own gigantic egos and miniscule bank balances and to finance future goals in the avoidance of proper jobs vailable wherever Brian & Krysstal appear Or by email: briandamagekrysstal@yahoo.com.au Please note: postage and packing are not included in the price Credit Cards accepted (fees apply) 1. Pleasure As we all know, smoking is VERY good for you... especially if you collect the coupons. This song illustrates that inside every silver cloud... there is indeed a dark brown lining. 2. Hotel Torresmolinos Brits abroad... conjures up a picture doesn't it? We Brits have an image to maintain in Europe and we feel that in some small way, this song helps to point out some small improvements that could be made in our approach. 3. Buttplug Every now and then a word comes along that just begs to be made into a song Inspired by Brat & Pret, two chatroom hostesses without whom the word "buttplug" would have remained a mystery in the annals of our minds. 4. Half as Nice We can't help feeling that this song may have cost William Hague an election not to mention the fact that he's a bit of a .... We're quite proud of it actually. 5. Grey Haired Medley After years of playing in bands like this is it any wonder that Brian turned in desperation to the Comedy Circuit? 6. Hannibal the Cannibal A bloody good song dedicated to vegetarians everywhere.... I wonder if veggies taste different? 7. Elephant Shite We did some gigs in South Africa everybody we met said "you MUST go to the Kruger National Park!" "You'll see man-eating leopards, crocodiles, snakes, spiders, hippos, giraffes, elephants" They said "Don't forget, the lions just LOVE to be stroked while they're eating" Sadly, we didn't see any lions, leopards, crocodiles or any of the others.... all we saw was.... 8. The Penis Song Stand up comedy is a golden opportunity for anyone who has anything of any relevance to say on any topic under the sun, to get up in front of a group of people and spout off about it. So why oh why do we still spout off about our spouts? Well, we've managed to keep it reasonably clean so far.... 9. I'm F**ked OK so we gave up.... it's all downhill from here. 10. Bunch of C*nts Dedicated to audiences everywhere who fail to see that to enjoy comedy.... it helps if you listen! 11. Knock Knock Brian attempts to help Krysstal hone her comedic skills... Bookings & Enquiries Email: briandamagekrysstal@yahoo.com.au
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