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  Brian & Krysstal Silly Songs Album - Download from iTunes


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"If you like daft stuff you'll love this new album by Brian Damage and Krysstal"

TIME OUT (London)


Shortly after meeting in 2000 at The Edinburgh Festival

Brian Damage and Krysstal produced this orgasmic masterpiece of aural delight

Maybe they should have waited a little longer


After almost nine months of hard labour they have given birth to this wonderfully seedy CD

showing a subtlety never before seen in Brian's act.

Definitely a five star effort

F*****ng great!

A Scotsman


Eleven Wicked Tracks 

  1. Pleasure 2. Hotel Torresmolinos 3. Buttplug 4. Half as Nice

5. Grey Haired Medley 6. Hannibal the Cannibal 

 7. Elephant Shite 8.The Penis Song 9. I'm F*cked

10. Bunch of C*nts 11. Knock Knock

Silly Songs by Brian Damage & Krysstal

 An album of semi musical ditties written and deformed to the least of their debilities

by Brian Damage and Krysstal  for no reason other than to satisfy their own gigantic egos and miniscule bank balances

and to finance future goals in the avoidance of proper jobs

Credit Crunch Special Price

*** Only 5 + Postage & Packing *** 

Available wherever Brian & Krysstal appear

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Please note: postage and packing are not included in the price

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1. Pleasure

As we all know, smoking is VERY good for you... especially if you collect the coupons.

This song illustrates that inside every silver cloud... there is indeed a dark brown lining. 


2. Hotel Torresmolinos

Brits abroad... conjures up a picture doesn't it?

We Brits have an image to maintain in Europe and we feel that in some small way,

this song helps to point out some small improvements that could be made in our approach. 


3. Buttplug

Every now and then a word comes along that just begs to be made into a song

 Inspired by Brat & Pret, two chatroom hostesses  

without whom the word "buttplug" would have remained a mystery in the annals of our minds.


4. Half as Nice

We can't help feeling that this song may have cost William Hague an election

 not to mention the fact that he's a bit of a .... We're quite proud of it actually. 


5. Grey Haired Medley

After years of playing in bands like this

is it any wonder that Brian turned in desperation to the Comedy Circuit? 


6. Hannibal the Cannibal

A bloody good song dedicated to vegetarians everywhere....

I wonder if veggies taste different? 


7. Elephant Shite

We did some gigs in South Africa

everybody we met said "you MUST go to the Kruger National Park!"

"You'll see man-eating leopards, crocodiles, snakes, spiders, hippos, giraffes, elephants"

They said "Don't forget, the lions just LOVE to be stroked while they're eating"

Sadly, we didn't see any lions, leopards, crocodiles or any of the others.... all we saw was....


 8. The Penis Song

Stand up comedy is a golden opportunity for anyone who has anything of any relevance to say

on any topic under the sun, to get up in front of a group of people and spout off about it.

So why oh why do we still spout off about our spouts?


Well, we've managed to keep it reasonably clean so far....


 9. I'm F**ked

OK so we gave up.... it's all downhill from here. 


10. Bunch of C*nts

Dedicated to audiences everywhere who fail to see that to enjoy comedy....

it helps if you listen!


 11. Knock Knock

Brian attempts to help Krysstal hone her comedic skills...

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